A quickie

It seems as though there is a rise in bitchy women and whiny men in radio ads. I'm not sure if it's something I've only recently noted, or if it is, in fact, a new "trend", so to speak.

What is the deal?

In terms of this, I can almost see the "feminist backlash" that some guys are talking about. Now, instead of having commercials with wifey at home, they're having commercials where the women is In Charge, and the man is a whiny, stupid, or otherwise incompetent character.

I suppose this is supposed to "appeal" to women, but I honestly find it annoying. I just want to yell at the men to act like men, godammit. And to tell the women to stop being supreme bitches.

But I digress.

I think one of the more annoying examples is the "going to Lowe's" ad, where the guy keeps asking "are we there yet" and basically makes an ass out of himself while the women is more mature and by that nature slightly condenscending. If I was a guy, I would be offended by that.

There's also the Amoco Ultimate one that was playing a while back in which the woman really was a bitch to the guy. Pretty much saying, "yeah you're dumb, retard." Again, if I was a guy, I'd be offended.

In any case, I'm noticing it fairly often, and those types of ads really do annoy me. Talking down to anyone, for no reason, annoys me.

A Tip for Life #1

I have learned the following fact from Men's Health:

Drinking 1 or two cups of coffee before drinking will lessen the chance of a hangover (paraphrased)

I tested this theory on two occasions:

1. Getting Drunk on Wine
   
   Everyone knows that drinking too much wine leads you straight into headache-hell the next morning. Drank two cups of coffee before drinking. Had about 4 or 5 glasses of wine.
   
   Result: Zero hangover.


2. Getting Drunk on Cheap Booze
   
   The impurities generally spell out a miserable morning. Again, two cups of coffee.
   
   Result: Zero hangover.

Conclusion: Definitely works. At least for me (I should testify that I normally get only very mild hangovers anyhow). Men's Health, I thank you for sharing this knowledge with your readers, and by proxy, me.

So, today's tip for the week: Drink 2 cups of coffee before drinking. You'll thank me and Men's Health and The Dudes Who Figured This Out in the morning.

Are Resentments Justified?

Amazing, amazing, amazing article. I agree whole-heartedly, although I have yet to completely embrace it...

(originally found at 37 Signals blog)

I am woman, hear me roar! (*meow*)

My questions concerning feminism are as follows:

• Why is femininity considered a weakness?


• Why is it hard to accept that men and women are simply different?


• Why do women have to (theoretically) act like men in order to succeed?


• Why are women who choose a home life, or choose femininity, often ridiculed by feminists?

I don't believe I can answer these questions. I wonder if others often have the same feelings?

Femininity as Weakness

For many years, women were viewed as the "weaker sex". Weaker in every way - mind, body, and soul. I take a firm stance against this idea. I will concede that looking straightforwardly at strength, women are generally weaker than men. We just cannot naturally build up the same amount of muscle mass as men. Okay, that's fine.

In other ways, women are naturally stronger than men - time and time again, women have been shown to have more natural endurance than men (both in terms of physical endurance and pain endurance) - can we say, childbirth?

I believe women are also naturally prone to empathy and intuition in terms of feelings, thus giving women the edge in many interactions, both in personal and professional settings.

In essence, there is no reason to equate women with weakness. We are simply in balance with men - each of us having a set of strengths.

Men and Women are Different

It seems that, stereotypically, feminists want to be the same as men. They want to do the same things as men, and be treated like men [would treat other men] (personally, I say "screw that", but that's just me).

I can't see why it's a bad thing that women are different than men. Should women be discriminated against because of that difference? No. Should women have to act like men to get ahead? No.

As stated earlier, men and women each have their own strengths (as each individual has their own strengths), many of which can be used in conjunction in a team environment to benefit the whole even better.

To say that there is no fundamental difference between men and women is to ignore what our bodies show us - our bodies are made very differently (I'd like to see someone say they are the same!), so why shouldn't our minds be made differently (not inferior, but different)? I see no objection to that. In fact (and I wish I had time to search on the web), there has been controversial research exploring just what those differences are; although, often, the research is ridiculed in light of Political Correctness.

Now, I'm not saying that women should think "oh, I'm a women, I'm good at empathy, I shouldn't go into science" - not at all. I believe that in terms of knowledge and learning, men and women are on an equal footing. Also, please understand that I know these are sweeping generalizations, and as with all generalizations, there are extremes that are not taken into consideration.

Barefoot and Pregnant

Gloria Ironbachs

Peter tells me you don't have a career of your own.

Lois Griffin

No. Life outside my kitchen is so bright and scary. I'm just here because you caught me between pregnancies.

Gloria Ironbachs

I'm sorry you're so hostile toward someone who's fighting so a woman like you can become more than just a housewife.

Lois Griffin

Oh, just a housewife? Look, I'm all for equality but if you ask me, feminism is about choice. I choose to be a wife and mother. And now I'm choosing to end this conversation.

Thank you Lois, of the Family Guy. I have always loved this quote, because I think it rings true with my own thoughts. Men and Women, both, should feel open to choose to stay at home with their children if they feel it is right for their situation. Because some women choose to stay at home and perform some of the traditional "womanly" duties, does not mean that she is in any way less of a woman than the one who goes and becomes the first CEO of a fortune 500 company. I do believe that all women should feel empowered in their choices - One woman chooses to work because she loves her job and it fits her family, the other woman chooses to stay at home because she feels time spent with her family is more valuable than a job (and neither is "better").

In the end, feminism should be about choice and freedom to be what you are happy with. And the world should be nondiscriminitory, offering equal choices for everyone, no matter what sex, race, religion, or sexual preference.

A theory to life

I feel that when coming off the elevator (when you know everyone is exiting, i.e. the ground floor), a certain protocol should be followed:

1. Older Women


2. Younger Women


3. Older Men


4. Younger Men

A theory to extend to your life.

In other news, today is the Day of Drunken Irish Debauchery (DoDID). Have fun and be safe. Convenient that it's on a Friday this year!

Taking care of business

I am working on my thoughts on feminism/femininity.

I am working on some thoughts relating to childhood/development.

My perfectionism just gets in the way - I wish I had a naturally elegant writing style. Instead, I have a rambling, stream-of-consciousness-but-way-too-much-random-info-to-be-interesting, writing style.

So, I'm trying to make it somewhat interesting and worthwhile to read, just for my own edification.

In other news, I have been thinking about my problems with keeping my home in order (and keeping myself on track). The big thing is to create habits. I had a lightbulb moment the other day - I realized, that although I want to create these habits, and that I know they're good for me, I still have to make myself do them. I have to literally force myself to get things done, for at least a month, before it becomes habit.

This sounds really overwhelming and negative, but it's actually freeing and positive to finally know this. It's okay that it's hard - it's supposed to be hard. It will be hard. But only for a month. A month! That's it!

I have also tried to pare back on the things I'm doing - there's so much that I would like to get done, but I can't force myself to do all of them at once; that's when it gets overwhelming.

Baby steps.

In that light, I've been working on putting my work clothes away when I take them off. This is actually pretty easy, because I'm generally not as tired as when I'm going to bed - and it is cutting down on the clothes piles that I have around, at least.

I'm working to brush teeth/listerine every day. I will add in flossing again after that becomes habit.

Keeping the dirty dishes under control -- I really don't have too big of a problem with this. I do have issues when Jon makes dinner for me, because he doesn't have the same clean-up habits that I do. It's frustrating, but I just need to stop having "stinking thinking" about that, and stop "martyring" myself. That's also something I have to force myself to do. But, with the dishes, I've just been so tired lately that it hasn't been very easy.

I'm trying to become a better person, and I think I can do it. I want to do it. I will do it.

A life of craft

I have been hit by the crafting bug lately. I can't get enough of witty little projects that are beautiful and still functional.

I binged on Martha's site over the course of the past couple of weeks. I don't care what anyone says, Martha has some awesome ideas! I think her job would be my ideal one. Just sitting around, on top of your crafting/cooking/homekeeping empire, coming up with new ideas (as if it's that simple). Granted, I know it came by for her with a lot of work (which is another reason not to knock her).

(Ah, parenthetical notation, how I love thee.)

In any case, I seriously want to spend all of my time making things. Fun things, pretty things, useful things. Perhaps this has to do with the fact that I am making my own Wedding Invites. 50 invites - no problem! My only problem is perfectionism.

(note to self - photo corners)

I am excited though, because I'm making cupcakes for Phi Mu Founder's Day, with cute little quatrefoils on top. Should be cute. I was going to make my own (I figured I probably had enough ingredients for a basic white cake), but then they had Pillsbury cake mix on sale at Safeway ($1!), so I just got two boxes. Plus, I didn't find the cake-to-cupcake conversion in my BH&G cookbook until after I bought the mixes.

I'm not sure what kind of icing to do, though. I want to use a nice white icing, so I am thinking a powdered sugar one, but with very little milk to make it more spreadable. Who knows?! I think it will be a trial-and-error thing.

In any case, I feel stuck sometimes. How many times have I wished that I could be a housewife/homemaker? I wish I could spend time at home and take pride in the way it looks, in the meals that I cook. I wish I could work part-time (at most!). All-in-all, I wish I could revert to a '50s-era housewife.

Poufy skirts, aprons, and roasts, oh my!

"Dressing up" (hats to gloves!) to go out on errands.

I yearn for a feeling of simplicity and basic pleasures. Alas - not in the near future. I have to fit house-time in on evenings and weekends, and errands can only be done on the weekends, at which time I can leave Amelie alone without feeling guilty (poor thing!).

This post has stimulated my thoughts surrounding femininity and feminism, perhaps I'll organize some ideas on the subject.

The point of no return

My character and emotions are absolutely amazing to me. Absolutely incomprehensible as well - even more, really. How can the span of two days completely change my attitude, completely fill a gaping hole in my psyche? I am not sure, but it definitely happened to me.

Two weekends ago was a turning point for me. Somehow, I managed to (I can't decide which) bottom- or top-out (I suppose it depends on which angle I look at it from). Jon and I had been an slightly rocky footing after last fall - details are for the privileged few, I'm afraid. But suffice it to say, that although our love was strong, and we were sure we would pull through, I still couldn't let go.

Even now, I'm not sure why I couldn't.

But, none-the-less, I could not let go. For some reason, this reached a head two weekends ago. There was much crying on my part, much frustration on the part of Jon's, until he got so angry that he simply had to leave. (Keep in mind, as well, that both of the evenings I had been drinking to an excess, which certainly did not help me make any sort of good decision about the whole thing.)

On Sunday, I had to go to his house because I believed him to have my cellphone in his car, alas, he did not (apparently it was on my table), but I am so glad I thought he did. We talked sparingly, and had that uneasy need for distance between us. For a while, we simply sat in silence. It was certainly a healing silence. If we had talked over the phone, things would have turned out much worse, I think, due to my propensity for saying the wrong thing (especially over the phone) without intending to.

We then went on some errands, and the normalcy of it all, I think, helped bring us back together. Jon, towards the end, reached for my hand, and I knew he had forgiven me for my idiocy. It's always so refreshing to touch someone who you've been unable to be close to, either due to anger or distance.

It wasn't until time progressed that I realized that I was truly healed in my heart and mind. I had no thoughts of distrust, no feelings of discontent, and I didn't even feel a connection to "Mr. Bright Side" any more - that's when it really hit me. I felt no need to blast the song and sing at the top of my lungs any more. There was a feeling of indifference, of absolute calm.

So exhilarating, so free. I love!